Ever since using MyFitnessPal.com, I have felt very motivated about working out and tracking my calories. With their food diary function, I am learning to avoid certain foods, and bring enough foods that will keep me full. In fact, I have even lost 2 pounds. (Which means a lot to me.)
Yesterday, I was feeling playful and confident so I looked up on YouTube "Shake your hips like Shakira." After practicing for 5 minutes, I wrapped a sarong around my waist and asked my husband to watch me. I lifted my shirt a little bit so he could better see my post-pregnancy, stretch-marked belly... after all... it's a belly dance right?
"Tell me if I'm doing it kind of right!" I said to him happily.
He looked embarassed and asked me: "Do you want the truth? ... You need to lose some weight before you do this. Cause your belly is jiggling a lot. You move one way, and your belly takes a few seconds to catch up." Then he started to laugh.
Needless to say, I felt very deflated... and not in a good way. I felt awful, ugly, like an obese trucker. He realized what he said, and felt very sorry. But the harm has been done...
I know I'm fat, and I'm trying to get healthier. But jokes like that are really hurtful, and make me feel unmotivated. My husband says I'm beautiful... but now I know he doesn't mean all of me is beautiful... just certain parts. I wish all of me was beautiful to him... I need to lose weight...
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